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Our Geeks Speak … December 7, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in The Press.
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computer geek award

… YOU CAN COMMENT USING ANY E-MAIL ADDRESS YOU WANT, PEOPLE

FITSNews – December 7, 2007 – It always cracks us up when influential politicians or prominent government officials post comments on FITSNews using fake names … but then type their actual e-mail addresses when they click the “say it” (i.e. “submit”) button. Of course, it also cracks us up to read the funny fake e-mail addresses people come up with when they finally realize they don’t have to type in their actual e-mail address in order to have their comments posted on our website.

Some of our personal favorites are:

shutupwill@willsucks.com
killwill@sichaters.com
gotohellwill@fitsucks.com
willmustdie@willmustdie.com

So get creative, people. But for real, don’t feel like you have to use your actual e-mail address when you comment here, because you don’t. For example, if you’re John Edwards and you want to post a comment as “Hillary Hater” (using the e-mail address nolez4prez@nolez4prez.com), then have at it. We won’t know the difference. Similarly, if you’re President Bush and you want to post a comment as “War Eagle” (using the e-mail address bushizcool@bushizcool.com), then knock yourself out, El Presidente. Again, we’ll never know the difference …

Of course if you’re one of Sic Willie‘s many female admirers, we would strongly encourage you to accompany your anonymous posts with a personal e-mail to w@viewpolitik.com. Preferably one with pictures attached.

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The Less Popular Bloggers Are Whining … Again November 30, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in The Press.
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pimp my ride

WE’RE SO MISUNDERSTOOD, PEOPLE

FITSNews – November 30, 2007 – We make no apologies for our irreverent approach to politics and pop culture here at FITSNews. We call it like we see it and try to have fun, and sometimes that approach rubs people the wrong way. Like this chick, who apparently can’t decide if she wants to shoot Sic Willie or have his babies:

I think FITSNews would admit that being loud and inflammatory is a blog-writing strategy over there. The irreverent, look-at-me approach gets him plenty of hits, I’m assuming. Throw up as much stuff as you can, put flashing neon lights around it, and see later if anything is accurate or has merit. It’s the wild west approach to blogging.

Sometimes what FITSNews publishes turns out to be right. I did give FITSNews full credit for the bar exam story on November 7. It took the State Newspaper two more days to even pick up the story, and I’m quite confident it never would have done so if FITSNews hadn’t exposed what happened.

She goes on to say, “how seriously can people take you when you’re sprinkling in all those provocative pictures of women to increase search engine hits and have a jokey tone about everything?” Aside from the glorious absence of subject-verb agreement in that sentence, let’s address this woman’s complaints head-on … (more…)

We’re Influential … Again November 26, 2007

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jolie tat

AS IF ANGELINA JOLIE’S NEW TATTOO WASN’T PROOF ENOUGH …

FITSNews – November 26, 2007 – We just got forwarded an e-mail from a friend of ours that included some shocking news – little ole’ FITSNews is apparently the most influential blog in South Carolina. This “love” comes courtesy of BlogNetNews, which has been tracking online chatter in the Palmetto State for the past several months.

Thanks, dudes. You’ll have to forgive us, though, because we’re a little preoccupied today with Angelina Jolie‘s new tattoo (above), which as you can see is a desperate cry for the attention of our founding editor, Sic Willie.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, people …

London Calling November 22, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in 2008 Presidential Primaries, The Press.
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london calling

SIC WILLIE IS AN INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY, PEOPLE

FITSNews – November 22, 2007 – “London Calling” isn’t just a famous song (and iconic album cover) from legendary British punk rockers The Clash, it was actually something that happened to our very own Sic Willie this Tuesday morning. That’s because the Times of London, Great Britain’s newspaper of record since 1788, actually “rang” him at the God-awful hour of 7:00 a.m. seeking his wisdom for this story on South Carolina’s rock ’em-sock ’em 2008 presidential primary:

“The question this year is not whether the race will be dirtier than 2000,” said Will Folks, the former spokesman for Mark Sanford, the Republican Governor of the state. “The question is, when will it cross that threshold?”

A succinct recap of the rampant shadiness that is Palmetto politics, the article refers to South Carolina as “the foulest swamp of electoral dirty tricks in America,” noting that it “has already become the sleaziest leg of the 2008 presidential campaign.”

Of course, Sic is taking some serious local heat for his international exploits, as fellow political bloggers The Palmetto Scoop and Shot Politics are apparently miffed at his suggestion that their websites are in cahoots with the presidential campaigns of John McCain and Mitt Romney, respectively.

Come on guys, it’s not like we’ve never said that before. Besides, you really can’t blame Sic Willie for anything he says prior to 11:00 a.m. That sh*t is all the snooze button’s fault.

We’re Such Hams November 21, 2007

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holiday ham

TRY A SLICE OF US THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

FITSNews – November 21, 2007 – We’re pretty sure the guy who runs Voting Under The Influence is just trying to get into the FITS girls‘ pants, but as far as we can tell there’s no crime in that. Besides, his website has a kick ass name (no one should ever vote sober) and getting a Holiday Ham award is pretty awesome, especially if there’s an actual ham involved. Even awesomer would be if it came with some buttermilk biscuits. Mmmmm …

We now come to the Holiday Ham award. This award is for the politician or activist who seems the best at self promotion. This year’s winner is Will Folks, owner of the FITS news blog. From the pictures of scantily clad women he posts to the defense of the Governor he used to work for (and) pretends to loathe, no blogger or political activist in South Carolina has promoted himself better. Folks has rehabilitated himself from scandal ridden Sanford staffer into a bona fide voice in state politics better than Jimmy Carter rehabilitated himself from failed President to respected elder statesman.

Yeah, yeah, yeah … now where’s the ham? Seriously, you can’t give a “Holiday Ham award” and fail to produce an actual ham. Those were some really nice compliments, but you can’t eat compliments. You can, however, eat tasty delicious ham (with buttermilk biscuits). And be sure to make the biscuits from scratch, just like Grandma Folks.

Free Speech … Ain’t It A B*tch? November 15, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in 2008 Presidential Primaries, The Press.
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free speech

AND WHEN THE HELL IS THIS STUPID PRESIDENTIAL RACE OVER?

FITSNews – November 15, 2007 – You know the political “silly season” is upon us when the press starts manufacturing scandals (like they’re not enough real ones to report on) and then tries to pre-package some canned outrage over something that’s really not that big a deal to begin with. Like Barack Obama’s lapel pin. Or the old lady that asked Sen. John McCain earlier this week in South Carolina “How do we beat the bitch?” (CLICK HERE to watch).

We just assumed she was talking about Sic Willie, but apparently she was referring to Hillary Clinton. Go figure.

Well, some blowhard CNN anchor decided to take McCain’s response to the lady – which was “that’s an interesting question” – and turn it into a little mini-scandal/ hissyfit. (CLICK HERE to watch that).

At any rate, apparently eager to score some points with the FOX News crowd by doing some gratuitous CNN-bashing, McCain decided to step up the profile of the “controversy” yesterday by focusing his weekly conference call with bloggers on the incident.

We didn’t phone in because we were busy (and because frankly McCain’s conference call music usually sucks), but at the end of the day the fact some crabby old Republican bag from South Carolina called Hillary Clinton a “bitch” is about as newsworthy as us yawning. What we really want to know is why does everybody who hangs out with McCain always look so old? Well, that, and when the hell is this stupid election over, anyway? Seriously, we don’t even vote and it’s starting to piss us off …

The Less Popular Bloggers Are Whining October 26, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in The Press.
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brad warthen unabomber

“TRAFFIC ENVY” SETS IN OVER AT THE UNABOMBER COMPOUND

FITSNews – October 26, 2007 – Since we never seem to find the time to read Brad Warthen’s corporate-sponsored “blogging” (or the appropriately-titled Not Very Bright, for that matter), we had no idea until today that these two left-leaners were talkin’ some serious smack about the FITS gals’ prodigious web traffic … a week ago.

Specifically, Warthen seems unable to accept that our little exercise in irreverence gets about five times the hits that his daily snoozefest receives – and does so without the benefit of perpetual self-promotion in South Carolina’s largest newspaper.

So how do we do it? Well, first of all we don’t look like the Unabomber. Second of all, we don’t write a bunch of stuff that nobody cares about. Third of all, in addition to getting beaucoup national press on a regular basis, our founding editor Sic Willie had the temerity and foresight to put Vanessa Hudgens on the website last month … which is almost as good for hits as making fun of Ron Paul supporters.

To put it another way, unlike when he whines about us, it probably won’t take Brad a whole week to figure out we’re owning him here today … again.

UPDATE – For more helpful hints, check out the thoughtful expose, “Why We Kick All The Other Blogs’ Asses.” Oh, and “you’re welcome” in advance for the Scarlett Johansson pic.

State’s Top Political Reporter Headed To Hot-lanta October 25, 2007

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Sheinin

AARON GOULD SHEININ ACCEPTS POSITION WITH ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION

FITSNews – October 25, 2007 – For all the grief we give his anally-P.C. commie bosses at La Socialista (a.k.a. The (Columbia) State newspaper), we’ve always considered political reporter Aaron Gould Sheinin to be one hell of a journalist … not to mention a trustworthy friend. Tough, talented and universally-respected by politicos on both sides of the aisle, the former obituary writer and newspaper delivery boy has been a fixture in state politics for the past decade, breaking dozens of major stories and firmly establishing himself as one of the most feared (and fearless) political reporters in the Southeast.

Yesterday, Sheinin told FITSNews that he’s leaving the Palmetto State later this year to take a position with the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, a move destined to create a gaping hole in South Carolina’s “Fourth Estate.”

“Aaron’s departure from the capitol press corps leaves a void that will be hard to fill,” Senate President Pro Tempore Glenn McConnell told us. “He was dogged in his journalistic pursuits and his quest for the truth, but he was also fair in how he covered a story. Unfortunately, that is a trait that is all too rare. There could be no better testament to his character and service at the State House other than that he was respected, liked, and will be missed.” (more…)

Phoenix Press Helicopter Crash Craziness July 28, 2007

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phoenix choppers

TRAGEDY BRINGS OUT THE WORST IN LAW ENFORCEMENT OVERREACHING

FITSNews – July 28, 2007 – The fact that two press helicopters collided in mid-air in the skies over Phoenix today is an unmistakeable tragedy. All four people aboard the two choppers were killed, and it goes without saying that their families, friends and colleagues deserve our sympathy and our prayers right now. Unfortunately, though, Phoenix Police Chief Jack Harris is turning this horrific accident into a classic case of law enforcement overreaching. In discussing the suspect whose police chase precipitated the aerial disaster, Harris said:

“I believe you will want to talk to investigators but I think he will be held responsible for any of the deaths from this tragedy.”

Say what? Look, we’ve got no problem with Chief Harris throwing the book at this guy for whatever crimes he may have committed on the ground, but unless at some point during the pursuit this suspect threw a rock hundreds of feet into the air and caused these two helicopters to swerve into each other, it’s not his fault that they crashed.

‘The State’ Is Not Really The State Anymore July 22, 2007

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The State Withdraws

NEWSPAPER’S MARKET RETREAT LEAVES CUSTOMERS IN LIMBO

FITSNews – July 22, 2007 – For three decades, Lancaster County homebuilder Ross Gload would wake up each morning at quarter of six and make the long trek down the driveway to retrieve his copy of The State newspaper.

“It was just me, my coffee and my newspaper before everybody else woke up,” Gload tells FITSNews. “It was my time – when I could relax and catch up with Gamecock sports and all the other college programs the newspaper covered.”

Gload and 200 fellow Lancaster County subscribers to The State are suddenly out of luck, however, as “South Carolina’s newspaper” has pulled out of 17 different counties since coming under the ownership of McClatchy Newspapers. Interestingly, most of the affected counties are found in markets in which McClatchy already owns newspapers (the Beaufort Gazette, Hilton Head Island Packet and Rock Hill Herald, for example), or markets in which McClatchy has acquired newspapers as a result of its purchase of Knight-Ridder Media (Charlotte Observer, Myrtle Beach Sun News). (more…)