FITSNews For Now is the transitional home of FITSNews.com, a South Carolina-based political website scheduled for launch in the Spring of 2008. If you are reading this, than you must be pretty hot, pretty clever or pretty important (but probably not all three at the same time) because this entire website is actually just a test run for something much more megalomaniacal.
Operating out of a converted methamphetamine lab in the woods near Galivants Ferry in the Upper Conway Lower Aynor region of South Carolina, FITSNews.com “reports” on politics, pop culture, sports and emerging trends in needlepoint, all under the alliteratively-ingenious tagline “Irreverence, Institutionalized.”
Conceptualized out of sheer boredom and an insatiable lust for attention, FITSNews.com is the brainchild of South Carolina political consultant and former gubernatorial spokesman Sic Willie and five women whose matchless grace and inestimable beauty strain the very limits of human comprehension. Reese Witherspoon (pictured above) is not presently among these women, but she may want to be soon if we get popular enough, which – let’s face it – is ultimately what this is all about.
FITSNews takes its name from a lyric in the George Michael song “Freedom ’90” (“Gotta have some Faith In The Sound”) which is off of the Listen Without Prejudice, Volume I album, released in August of 1990 by Sony Records. Ironically, there was no Volume II. Go figure.
Sic Willie and the FITS girls are all hard core fiscal conservatives. We pledge allegiance to the Laffer Curve, activity-based budgeting, spending limits and market forces. On social issues, we are primarily libertarians but readily admit that Aaron Sorkin and Annie Savoy have at least partially corrupted our good girl, Calvinist upbringings. Our foreign policy views tend to lean toward blowing people off the face of the earth.
Our political influences include Genghis Khan, T.P. Tidwell (the brother of Rod Tidwell in the film Jerry Maguire), Thomas Jefferson, Al Pacino, Bart Giamatti, Tom Coburn, Josiah Bartlett, Ronald Reagan, Bakari Sellers, Johnny Cash, Dick DeWitt, Huey Long, Winston Churchill, Crash Davis, Martin Luther King, Jr., Nathan Bedford Forrest and Prince (prior to that whole “The Artist” phase).
We have a commitment to the truth and are just keeping it real.
FITSNews is a Viewpolitik, LLC production.