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Just Build Your Fence And Shut Up Already December 11, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in 2008 Presidential Primaries, SC Politics.
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border fence

REPUBLICANS ARE SUCH PANDERERS

FITSNews – December 11, 2007 – If South Carolinians think the pandering of the 2008 Republican presidential candidates on the immigration issue has been intense, they ain’t seen nada yet.

That’s because once the presidential circus leaves the Palmetto State in January, our local kneejerkers are planning to pump up the volume on the issue in a big way. Responding to polls that show illegal immigration as a hot topic among local voters, it should come as no surprise that South Carolina politicians are poised to make this their signature issue as a means of shoring up their abysmal conservative credentials in an election year.

Whatever … South Carolina has about as much chance of solving the immigration problem as it does of reversing global warming. Which is to say zero. In fact, asking South Carolina to solve anything is a lot like giving a Rubik’s Cube to a dyslexic baboon, or expecting your pet hamster to single-handedly stabilize a shaky national economy.

Seriously, for a state that relies on illegals to operate its multi-billion dollar tourism industry (one of the few things we actually do kinda sorta well in this state), South Carolina’s Republican Majority sure is breathing some serious fire on this issue.

Desperate to avoid responsibility for a shitty economy, shitty health care system and ridiculously shitty education system, all these ass-clowns are doing is looking for a convenient bogeyman to divert your attention, thus enabling them to continue their wasteful and incompetent Nineteenth Century ways.

And believe us, “immigration reform” is more than just a key to that strategy, it is that strategy.

Don’t believe the hype, people.

Sure, go ahead and vote for the presidential candidate who’s promising to build you the highest border fence if that’s what floats your boat, but don’t think for a second that these local jokers are going to do anything on this issue other than use it to get reelected so that they can keep blowing more of your money.

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Comments»

1. Snead - December 11, 2007

Gay Marriage and Flag Burning, meet your brown-skinned cousin, Illegal Immigration.

2. b - December 11, 2007

I don’t understand why the G.O.P. wastes their time in S.C. They are the daddy and SC voters do as they are told. Maybe they should build a fence around S.C. to keep us from infecting other states with our uninformed voters and poor public policies.

3. NotforHire - December 11, 2007

Wouldn’t the dyslexia cancel out the lack of intelligence in a baboon, making them really good at solving a rubic’s cube?

4. Mattheus Mei - December 11, 2007

Sic(k) Willie, are you a Republican’t? Or a Democrack? Personally I lean quite a bit to the left on many issues, and it warms my heart to see someone who otherwise is a ‘conservative’ (note, I didn’t say a SC Republican) call out the ‘ruling mob party’ of this state for the financial boobs and religio-social psycophants that they all are. What hypocrites. What morons. And for the nameless mobs who put these inbred holdovers from a bygone era in power, in reality all it boils down to ultimately at the end of the day is the colour of one’s skin. Thanks for keeping it real.

5. FITSNews - December 11, 2007

MM-

That’s pretty good, man. What’s your hourly rate? Seriously, nice stuff.

-FITSNews

6. Tim - December 11, 2007

I’m guessing Tom Tancredo convinced our SC nimrods that they too can do something useful. I agree with Sic. Yeah right, like they can! Now, getting rid of La Raza Lindsey… now that would be a genuine and significant statement to the national problem.

7. Mattheus Mei - December 11, 2007

Thanks… My words come cheaper than an hour’s stay at the old Chat and Rest on Two Notch. That’s only slightly less expensive than what the silver hairs and egg-toothed ones charge for a legislative trick. (They are rather fond of Porking)

Mattheus Mei

8. Harden Gervais - December 11, 2007

it should come as no surprise to anyone that when one party has so much control and power, its members will become more corrupt and ineffective than otherwise. The Democratic Party in this state is so godawful, competent Democrats can’t compete with the lowest dregs of state Republicans.

This is something that should sell to the GOP: competition is good. But when the opposition is so piss-poor, there’s no way to weed out the idiots.

9. Believe It Not - December 11, 2007

What’s the latest on the law suit(s) against you?

We heard today over lunch (from a really totally reliable secret source at the the State House) that a private investigator from Charlotte has been retained to snoop your crib. A retired FBI dude no less.

We are hoping for pictures. In color!

Remember the lines from the Richard Prior movie that was made at the Arizona State Prison? Something like:

Leave him alone. It’s okay because I ain’t a homosexual! You fool, he will “do you” just to see the look on your face!

Not nearly an exact quote. We could Google the exact quote, but you and your reader would just attack us for “cut and paste” blogging.

That’s what’s about to happen.

So, what’s the latest on your lawyer fees? Have you put all of your personal holdings in your momma’s name to protect them?

You should.

10. FITSNews - December 11, 2007

BIN –

Welcome back … we were starting to worry about’cha …

It’s good to know we’ve pissed somebody off sufficiently to retain a retired FBI private investigator for the purpose of “snooping our crib,” but we seriously doubt that color pictures of Sic whacking off to lesbian porn will do much to hurt his public image.

In fact, there’s a good chance that broadcasting images like that will actually result in an uptick in our fan mail, if ya know what we mean. Like Bill Murray said, though, tell your boy to bring a long lens.

And yes, our holdings are as well-diversified as they are vast, and while they are not in Mother Folks name, they might as well be after we finished shopping for her 60th Birthday earlier this week!

Look dude, you don’t scare us. Pickles are the only thing that scare us. And you are definitely not a pickle.

Bottom line, we’d strongly urge your status quo client to think long and hard before attempting to pierce our corporate veil with any unmerited litigiousness, because we will quite simply own them like we did the last crew that tried to mess us around.

How the hell do you think Sic afforded a 32′ sailboat, dumbass?

-FITSNews

P.S. – You’re welcome to join Sic and the FITS gals on Boondoggle anytime.

11. BIN lusts after his mom - December 11, 2007

Believe it not.

You are either will trying to stir shit, or you are as irrelevant as you claim will to be. Either way, you would matter more if you had a strom problem….

You add no substabnce to any post you have ever made.

The only thing worse than being a rumor monger is being obsessed with one.


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