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Johnny Depp Needs To Stick With The Pirate Look December 6, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in Pop Culture.
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BECAUSE THIS IS DOING NOTHING FOR US

FITSNews – December 6, 2007 – It’s hard to believe that we’re actually recommending grungy clothes, poor oral hygeine, effemenite mannerisms and skipping showering as a way of attracting the ladies, but in the case of Johnny Depp that seems to be the winning strategy.

Anyway, we have no idea what Depp was thinking when he decided to show up looking like this at some ritzy event we could care less about, but if it had anything to do with picking up other men or molesting little boys, well, mission accomplished.

Seriously, Captain Jack Sparrow would make Depp’s sissy ass walk the plank for dressing like this, people. We’d call it “Boy George meets Harry Potter,” but that would be a compliment, wouldn’t it? The truth is the only way Depp could look any gayer in these pictures would be if he ditched the suit pants in favor of some Richard Simmons-style workout shorts. And even then it would probably only increase the gayness by a fraction of a percent, because everybody knows nothing says “bad ass” quite like some pink candy cane workout shorts.

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Comments»

1. Rob W. - December 6, 2007

He’s got a Christopher Walken-esque look to him in his new movie.

2. Joe Public - December 6, 2007

Hey No Game Boy. Don’t be dissin’ Depp. He could get any of the ladies. Every woman I know swoons when they see him. Time for the black shirt and red tie Sic Willie.

3. FRANCES BUSSEY - December 6, 2007

You are not a Johnny Depp fan or you would not be complainting about his clothes. We, the fans, do not care what he wears as long as he shows up in public, and does not cover his face with hair or scarfs. Pick on someone else.

4. FITSNews - December 6, 2007

We are Captain Jack fans though!!!

-FITSNews


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