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Typical Carolina Football … And 10 Ways To Fix It November 25, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in Sports.

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FITSNews – November 24, 2007 – Having cheered for the University of South Carolina football team from the womb, tonight’s last-second 23-21 loss to arch-rival Clemson really wasn’t all that bitter. After all, it’s tough to feel too much pain when you know what’s coming in advance, and when you’ve been numbed by three decades of disappointment and mediocrity.

Six weeks ago, South Carolina was 6-1 and ranked No. 6 in the nation. It seemed like things had finally come together under third-year head coach Steve Spurrier, and a New Year’s Day Bowl and BCS bid finally appeared to be within reach for legions of long-suffering Gamecock fans.

Of course, Carolina proceeded to choke against Vanderbilt and Tennessee, get blown out by Arkansas and Florida, and do what they always do against Clemson … find a way lose. At 6-6, the Gamecocks will now be lucky to get a bid to the toilet bowl, marking the end of yet another mediocre season for a program that has literally defined the word over the past century. “Even Spurrier Produces Nothing,” read a sign carried by a Clemson fan into Williams-Brice stadium tonight, and it’s hard to argue the point.

Frankly, we’ve had it. We’re not fairweather fans or anything (ahem, did you sit until the very last second of Florida State’s 59-0 drubbing of the Gamecocks back in 1988???), we’re just of the opinion that if something has never worked, you try something different. Which is why tonight our very own Sic Willie is unveiling his ‘Ten Ways To Fix South Carolina Football.’ Here we go …


This is college football, people. First downs are supposed to happen, and the fact that the public address announcer at Williams-Brice Stadium makes such a big deal when the Gamecocks actually get one is kind of embarrassing. So here’s a thought … the next time the home team gets a first down and you hear the idiot in the press box yell out “That’s another Carolina …” (and you’re supposed to yell back “first down!”) how about yell “shut up!” and insist on a touchdown instead.


South Carolina’s special teams sucked this year, which really wasn’t a huge surprise because South Carolina’s special teams suck every year. Sort of like our offense and defense. At Virginia Tech, head coach Frank Beamer focuses on special teams, which is a big reason Virginia Tech wins a lot more football games than we do. Hmmm … is he onto something?


We’re not talking about the big $$$$ that Nike, Addidas, Under Armor or Russell Athletic shell out to plaster their logos all over the place, we’re talking about South Carolina’s chronic fashion schizophrenia. Seriously, we’ve tried every combination of garnet, black and white known to man and nothing has worked. More on this in a little bit, though …


Why not? We hate Clemson, Georgia, Tennessee and Florida’s obnoxious fight songs as much as the next South Carolina fan, but who knows? Playing our own lame ass fight song obviously isn’t working out, and maybe having our band strike up the other team’s tunes will freak our opponents out …


Sure it’s the coolest entrance in all of college football, but so what? When you’re better known for the way you come out onto the football field than the way you play when you get there, that says a lot about your program.


We used to think it was just the Miami Hurricanes and Clemson Tigers that acted like a bunch of arrogant, trash-talking punks on the football field, but South Carolina has gotten just as bad in recent years. Of course, we can’t afford stupid personal fouls and jackass celebration penalties because we’re not that good, which makes you wonder why so much showboating is going on here in the first place.


You heard us. Carolina fans fill the stands, but how many are still there when the fourth quarter starts and the Gamecocks are down by two scores? Of course it’s hard to blame them since we never actually come back and win those games, but still …


We’re not saying Steve Spurrier should be fired this year, but if he doesn’t win nine games next year they ought to seriously consider it. Besides, nothing could do more to reverse our rebel flag stigma than to hire a talented young black coach and give him a chance. What Would Tony Dungy Do, people?


South Carolina has historically recruited good skill position players but its teams have been chronically undersized on the offensive and defensive lines – which is where football games are won or lost. This isn’t rocket science, people. Oh, and that Tim Tebow guy is pretty good, so while we’re at it, a big quarterback who can run and throw the ball wouldn’t hurt either.


That’s right. It’s not just players, coaches, jerseys, and entrances that need changing, it’s the whole ball of wax. Seriously, if you don’t believe there’s a “chicken curse” at this point, you need to have your head examined. This would be a professional marketer’s worst nightmare, but maybe we could keep the colors and just ditch the “Gamecock” name. Garnet Knights, anybody?



1. Tim - November 25, 2007

I’m for dumping the old ballsack. His preseason rant about a rebel flag recruiting problem convinced me that I’d rather see a black coach—and leave the flag alone.
A lot of the things you say need to be changed are probably part of what contributed to the real problem: stupid and lazy players. They have the biggest heads of any college football team in existence, and they are just plain LAZY. And isn’t motivation usually something that can be traced back to the coach? Dump Spurrier now!

2. King Richard - November 25, 2007

Just maybe Willie should be a coach and not a writer. He thinks he knows what to do.!!!!!!!!!!!

3. Gamecocks_suck - November 25, 2007

This is phenomenol. You said the gamecocks entrance is “the coolest entrance in College Football”? What a joke. Every highschool team in the country comes into their stadium with fire extinguisher smoke. The only difference is they break through paper and have an updated fight song. 2001 is old and 6 years past “the ironic cool stage”.

Let’s face it. Gamecocks suck. They always have and always will. It’s the chicken curse. You can get rid of the chicken, but not the curse.

This ain’t no rivalry with Clemson it is a domination. Every year I hear a new interesting stat. Did you know that SCAR hasn’t beaten Clemson two years in a row since 1968-1969? That’s almost 40 years!

Columbia is nothing more than a place where “ole ball coaches” go to die. Maybe Lou Holtz should come down and do a pep talk. He’ll have to “wait til next year” cuz the chickens ain’t goin to no bowl game.

4. OOOOOOOOOcrap - November 25, 2007

There was a game last night?

The only way to lose the chicken curse is to get a life, and forget about that over-blown bunch of dumbasses we call a football team.

Life is short…go do something…and stop placing your lives in the hands of idiots.

5. Some one who cares - November 25, 2007

Comment three is further proof that some where a village is missing it’s idiot…. shouldn’t you go back to tigernet or something….

6. Spartanburger - November 25, 2007

Much like everything else in this state, Sic, you don’t mess with “tradition.” I don’t give a rat’s ass if it’s broken, dammit, that’s just the way it’s done. Don’t you go tryin’ to change things, you whippersnapper.


7. Top Posts « WordPress.com - November 25, 2007

[…] Typical Carolina Football … And 10 Ways To Fix It [image] PERPETUAL MEDIOCRITY DEMANDS RADICAL CHANGES FITSNews – November 24, 2007 – Having cheered for the University […] […]

8. Bob - November 26, 2007

There is a coffin waiting for Spurrier as well…you’ll never get talented football players to a place where backwards thinking people fly hateful rebel flags and fly over the stadium in planes with a huge confederate battle emblem attached.

The fans of Gamecock football deserve what they get. Even Spurrier cannot overcome backwards thinking and ignorance that lives amongst the SC faithful.

9. Had Enough For Sho - November 26, 2007

I think there are some things that can be done in the long term to right the ship other than attempting a pass on 3rd and 4 to win the game and giving a true freshman some help when covering Clemson’s biggest wideout.
1. Look for innovative coaches (young). USC has become the Las vegas for coaches looking to end their careers with Holtz and Spurrier. While other schools bring in the freshest most innvative coaches (mayer, mangino, Miles…mmmm maybe we need a coach with an ‘m’) we go with names. We get Fat Elvis ending his career and only a shadow of his old self.
2. Get the F out of the SEC. We have no shot to compete in the only sport that matters. Year in and year out we cannot compete with the facilities, tradition, and recruiting pipelines that Tennessee, Florida, and Georgia have. We should have never left the ACC since that is where all our traditional rivals reside. Let’s swap with FSU.
3. Quit playing on ESPN. One it costs us all our family friendly day games. Second I know exposure helps recruting but how many high school seniors need to see us lose each week. We are beginning to look like the Washington Generals – loveable losers.
4. Quit the gouging. It is bad enough to lose. It is worse to pay a couple hundred bucks for the privilege. We are risking to losing the backbone of a fan base that has always been considered the most loyal in the country (82,000 for an 0-11 team) but now the AD wants us to have a highest bidder mentality that will turn Williams Brice into the same crowd that sits on their hands to watch the Panthers. Plus the money isn’t going to make that much of a difference as noted in #2. I would accept a contingency fee arrangement. All tickets are $20. If we win, USC sends a bill to the season ticket holder for 35-40 bucks for the win. A bill I would happily pay.
I have vented. I am done. I am waiting for next year.

10. Palmetto Pulse - November 26, 2007

Ahhhh….a list of ways to fix Carolina’s ball team – don’t know if it’ll work Sic. Course, I understand why you spent time writing this… to deflect attention from the meat of the matter, ya’ll lost!!! Again.

Alas, this post would be much better though if the Tigers were headed to Jax this weekend. Matt Ryan…Hate Hate Hate!

11. GO COCKS! - November 26, 2007

We’re in the toughest division of the best football conference in America. We can and do compete in the SEC: (i.e.: we defeated Georgia between the hedges this year; lost to Tennessee on a long field goal at Neland Stadium) We just have to be patient with Spurrier who is a proven winner and who will recruit the players we need to begin winning consistently. Sic is correct that we need to recruit bigger linemen and improve special teams play. However, the mascot, helmets, and 2001 team entry are mere symbols and have nothing to do with the team’s on-the-field performance.

12. Crooner - November 26, 2007

Ditch the “Gamecocks” appellation? How dare you even suggest such a thing. Where else can you sit in polite company and engage in the call-and-response that begins “GAME” with nary a disapproving glance in your direction?

13. Pick 4 Numbers =6566 - November 26, 2007

Got to #6, lost 5 games in a row, ended up 6-6. Man, I love Carolina football and I’m a Clemson fan. If it wern’t for Carolina’s perpetual crappiness, Clemson would really look bad.

14. barry - November 27, 2007

you could always hire butch davis.

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