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The Quintessential Choppers November 22, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in 2008 Presidential Primaries.

edwards on strike


FITSNews – November 22, 2007 – By last Thanksgiving, we had already pretty much decided that the two candidates we loathed most in the 2008 presidential campaign were Republican Mitt Romney and Democrat John Edwards. Everything about the two of them just seemed totally fake, and with one desperately veering right and the other desperately veering left, they both came across as the kind of people who would backstab anybody or any previously-held ideology in order to become president.

And frankly, that’s the last quality we want to see in a president … whether it’s of our tabletop billiard league or of the United States.

Sure, our website may be a little left of Jesus from time to time, but we do remember a little something from Sunday School about building your foundation on solid ground, not shifting sands.

Anyway, absolutely nothing these two auditioning televangelists have done over the past year has even remotely altered our initial impressions. If anything, we’re more convinced than ever that Romney and Edwards are the two worst possible choices for our nation’s highest office, and if the general election boils down to selecting between one or the other, hello Grenada. We’re also more convinced than ever that their robot-controlled campaigns and transparent hypocrisy (even in the little things) are among the reasons most Americans just want this whole obnoxious campaign to be over.

Edwards clinched it for us the day he selfishly stayed in the race despite a recurrance of his wife’s cancer, and Romney, well he’s run exactly the kind of pandering, mud-slinging, vote-buying, smoke-and-mirrors campaign we anticipated when he hired a bunch of feckless thugs to manage his political destiny.

Fortunately, Edwards’ campaign has gone absolutely nowhere, and after a brief rise Romney’s star at last seems to be on the decline thanks to the emergence of Mike Huckabee, the siphoning of social conservatives by Fred Thompson, the surprisingly-effective Ron Paul nutjobs and, last but not least, a potentially-huge scandal in New Hampshire, his strongest early primary state.

To both the Romney and Edwards campaigns, we say good riddance.

After all, negotiable virtue is for Vegas hotel lobbies, not the Oval Office.



1. Harden Gervais - November 22, 2007

“…selfishly stayed in the race?”

Much like a certain editor at The State, you must feel some weird need to attack Edwards on specious grounds. Elizabeth wanted to keep it going, and, if you’ve noticed, is 110 percent behind the campaign.

I know people that were on his ’98 Senate campaign and the last presidential go ’round, and from talking to them and seeing him in person, Edwards is totally genuine. And, at worst, he’s no worse than any other major candidate on either side.

As for Romney, I have no love for him, but if you look at the polls he’s doing well in each major state. As of last week, the only candidates that were rising in the polls in each major state were Romney and – gasp! – the Hillary Clinton.

Clinton v. Romney.

Drop the big one now.

2. Romneybot juggernaut? « Columbia: A Sunny Place for Shady People - November 22, 2007

[…] himself up to possibly deal a knock-out blow in South Carolina. What’s surprising is how much conservative wagging tongues (or fingers, as the case may be) on the Internets dislike this guy. But, that doesn’t seem to be changing the fact that he’s catching on. […]

3. Palmetto Mouse Jockey - November 23, 2007

Mitt…blahblahblah…Edwarfs…blahblahblah… Who can pay attention when that babe with the nice, firm rack (white top) is front and center in the picture?
Back to your regular political stuff.

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