jump to navigation

Randomness November 17, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in 2008 Presidential Primaries, Pop Culture, SC Politics, Sports.
trackback

hefs girls

HEF’S GIRLS, PUSH-POLLING, CLEMSON-BC & POTENTIAL SIC TESTIMONY

FITSNews – November 17, 2007 – So this PR firm up in New York sent us some pictures of Playboy editor-in-chief Hugh Hefner and his three girlfriends (above) this week, ostensibly to promote some new Playboy Cover to Cover book that’s just been released. Unfortunately, we were unable to publish the pictures here because they violated our longstanding corporate policy of only including images that feature “Hef” in a robe, satin PJ’s and bedroom slippers while smoking a pipe. With multiple breasts nearby. We hate to be jerks about it, but no areola, no payola, people.

PUSH-POLLING – Voters in New Hampshire are getting phone calls questioning Mitt Romney‘s mormon faith – calls which the former Massachusetts governor is blaming on Arizona Senator John McCain‘s campaign. We’re gonna go out on an extremely stable, low-hanging branch and suggest that Romney’s people are behind this, and the whole thing is a calculated effort to generate sympathy, get the “Mormon issue” out in a safe way and, oh by the way, implicate another candidate for going negative so they can feign outrage about it.

CLEMSON-BOSTON COLLEGE GAME – Since the South Carolina Gamecocks’ season has gone down the toilet with four straight losses, we figured we might as well check up on the purple farmers football team, which could win a trip to the ACC title game with a victory over the Boston College Eagles tonight. Of course, winning an ACC Championship in football is an accomplishment on par with beating an orangutan in chess, defeating a dyslexic person in a spelling bee, or lapping a kid in a wheelchair with an Indy Car. But good luck anyway, Tiger fans

SIC TO TESTIFY? – Rumors are flying across town that our own Sic Willie will be called to testify before a S.C. Senate panel chaired by Sen. Hugh Leatherman. Charged with investigating the so-called Sanford grants scandal, Leatherman would be an ironic choice to lead such a proceeding considering he pretty much wrote the book on abusing competitive grants for political purposes.

Advertisements

Comments»

1. sure thing - November 17, 2007

LOL, do you really think Romney would make insulting statements about his own religion? I mean, I can see crazed Ron Paulians or McCainiacs making an accusation that far out…but, FITSNews?

2. Believe It Not - November 17, 2007

Hey, sic(k) willie, when we see this picture on your blog, it makes us want to break out in song – sic(k) willie:

“…dream the impossible dream…”

And, the only legal testimony we will see from sic(k) willie in the near future will be as a defendant. It’s just a matter of time. 🙂

3. Silence Dogood - November 19, 2007

Sure thing, I don’t think FITS if of his (their?, its?) rocker on this one,
http://www.politics1.com/ reports:

“In an interesting twist, the Utah company that was apparently hired to make the calls — Western Wats — includes Romney contributors on its payroll. The company’s CEO is also reportedly a friend of Romney. A Romney spokesman said it was “preposterous” that Romney’s campaign was involved in the calls in an effort to gain backlash sympathy for the candidate. Rival campaigns suggest it would have been insane for any campaign to hire a Utah-based company to make anti-Mormon calls. Meanwhile, the company refuses to name their client, but specifically stated the rumor that the Giuliani campaign paid for the calls was false.”

4. Dave VanHinkel - November 19, 2007

I would like to volunteer to push pole the Hef’s girls.

Because you know, I’m down with that.

DVH


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: