Randomness November 17, 2007Posted by fitsnews in 2008 Presidential Primaries, Pop Culture, SC Politics, Sports.
HEF’S GIRLS, PUSH-POLLING, CLEMSON-BC & POTENTIAL SIC TESTIMONY
FITSNews – November 17, 2007 – So this PR firm up in New York sent us some pictures of Playboy editor-in-chief Hugh Hefner and his three girlfriends (above) this week, ostensibly to promote some new Playboy Cover to Cover book that’s just been released. Unfortunately, we were unable to publish the pictures here because they violated our longstanding corporate policy of only including images that feature “Hef” in a robe, satin PJ’s and bedroom slippers while smoking a pipe. With multiple breasts nearby. We hate to be jerks about it, but no areola, no payola, people.
PUSH-POLLING – Voters in New Hampshire are getting phone calls questioning Mitt Romney‘s mormon faith – calls which the former Massachusetts governor is blaming on Arizona Senator John McCain‘s campaign. We’re gonna go out on an extremely stable, low-hanging branch and suggest that Romney’s people are behind this, and the whole thing is a calculated effort to generate sympathy, get the “Mormon issue” out in a safe way and, oh by the way, implicate another candidate for going negative so they can feign outrage about it.
CLEMSON-BOSTON COLLEGE GAME – Since the South Carolina Gamecocks’ season has gone down the toilet with four straight losses, we figured we might as well check up on the purple farmers football team, which could win a trip to the ACC title game with a victory over the Boston College Eagles tonight. Of course, winning an ACC Championship in football is an accomplishment on par with beating an orangutan in chess, defeating a dyslexic person in a spelling bee, or lapping a kid in a wheelchair with an Indy Car. But good luck anyway, Tiger fans …
SIC TO TESTIFY? – Rumors are flying across town that our own Sic Willie will be called to testify before a S.C. Senate panel chaired by Sen. Hugh Leatherman. Charged with investigating the so-called Sanford grants scandal, Leatherman would be an ironic choice to lead such a proceeding considering he pretty much wrote the book on abusing competitive grants for political purposes.