Sic Willie’s Obsession Accidentally Goes National

HOW A LITTLE STORY BECOMES A BIG ONE IN TODAY’S INTERNET JOURNALISM FREE-FOR-ALL

FITSNews – November 7, 2007 – The evolution of online journalism is about the craziest thing we’ve ever seen, people. Try to follow us, here …

Nine days ago, our own Sic Willie was writing a relatively mundane post about Democrats and Republicans stepping up their attacks on Hillary Clinton. Yawn, we know. Anyway, in selecting an image to accompany the article, the FITS girls randomly selected this one, which happens to feature a woman standing next to Clinton who looks a lot like one of Sic’s friends.

Thinking it would be funny, Sic e-mailed the picture to his friend and asked her to “get Hillary’s autograph” for him the next time they were hanging out. In a reply message, Sic’s friend forwarded him a web page with information about the true identity of the look-a-like woman, Clinton assistant Huma Abedin. This, of course, resulted in Sic Willie drooling for several hours (like the complete and total pervert that he is) before eventually publishing this article.

Shortly thereafter, FITSNews started getting e-mails from credible Democratic campaign operatives here in South Carolina who told us on the condition of anonymity that they “knew it to be true” that Huma and Senator Clinton were engaged in a lesbian love affair, accusations we published yesterday (editor’s note: with strong skepticism). Now, believe it or not, that story has been picked up in a Harpers Magazine article that as far as we can tell is the first mainstream media outlet to seriously explore the rumored relationship.

So yeah … basically a random photograph, an innocuous attempt at e-mail humor and the fact that our founding editor is a pervert who probably got weaned off of breast milk a little too early have managed to start the ball rolling on a story that, if true, could singlehandedly sink Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign.

For the record, we have no idea whether it’s true or not, and even though the campaign staffers who leaked us the information had no proof that it was true, either, we agreed to protect their confidence and identify them only as “sources at rival Democratic presidential campaigns.” We also made it clear to them that we would be strongly verbalizing our skepticism of their claims.

And we will protect their confidence, even if somebody wants to throw us in jail for it. After all, it ain’t like we haven’t been there before, and truth be told we were looking for a good reason to print us up some “Free Willy” T-Shirts.

Most importantly, Sic Willie would like to state unequivocally that when it comes to girl-on-girl, it’s “bi-curious,” not full-on lesbian, that he finds so fascinating.