The Egg-Tooth Is An Egg-noramus

COOPER CAN’T GET HIS FACTS STRAIGHT WITH THE PRESS, PAYS THE PRICE FOR GLARING AT SIC WILLIE

FITSNews – November 6, 2007 – We’re not sure why exactly, but House Ways & Means Chairman Dan “Egg-tooth” Cooper literally couldn’t quit staring holes through Sic Willie at a recent meeting of the government in Columbia. It was seriously the worst eyeball-to-eyeball hostility our founding editor had experienced in at least two full minutes, which isn’t surprising considering two former ex-girlfriends were also in the room giving him the evil eye from the moment he strode in like a Colossus. Studmuffin bad boy? Check and check, baby.

Anyway, Cooper’s bitterness is about to get a little um, bitterer, because as it turns out he has once again gone and demonstrated what a barely-evolved idiot he is … which is always a good thing to put on display when you’re the porker-in-chief of the S.C. House of Representatives.

This summer, Cooper told La Socialista newspaper that a GEAR report proposal designed to save the state a couple million bucks a year (by basing its property reinsurance contract on a flat fee rather than a commission) was “illegal.”

Cooper, who obviously didn’t have a problem with the same contract being awarded to a politically-connected firm for two decades without a single competitive bid, apparently got his feathers all in a ruffle over the proposed change given his “expertise” as an insurance agent.

In fact, according to a copy of an internal House e-mail obtained exclusively by FITSNews, Cooper authoritatively apprised Budget and Control Board spokesman Mike Sponhour, Senate Finance staffer Mike Shealy and House Ways & Means staffer Beverly Shealy of the situation as follows:

Did you know that it is illegal to pay insurance brokers a flat fee for services in this state? The entire (GEAR report) recommendation regarding the Insurance Reserve Fund is recommending that the Budget & Control Board violate state law, which clearly states that insurance agents and brokers can not negotiate a fee for services instead of commissions. I know this because we (Capstone Insurance Services, LLC) write insurance for some temp agencies and there are no commissions available for those policies and we have thoroughly researched the law. There have been advisory letters issued by the Department of Insurance as well.

Well, if you happen to be one of those “temp agencies” banking on Chairman Cooper’s “thorough research,” now might be a good time to bend over.

That’s because state law (Section 38-45-160, to be precise) specifically permits such fees in lieu of commissions, provided it is “a reasonable fee, it is made part of the contract, and the four percent broker’s premium tax is paid upon the policy fee.”

So yeah, it’s actually perfectly legal, despite what Chairman Cooper told his three buddies … oh, and the 100,000 or so people who read La Socialista every day.

Additionally, the S.C. Department of Insurance confirmed our review of the law, saying “we have reviewed the insurance laws in the context of this issue and we are unable to find any prohibition against flat fees versus percentage based commissions so long as it is clearly specified in the contract of insurance.”

So nice job, Mr. Chairman. It’s good to know how on top of things ya’ll are up in Anderson County. We’ll make sure we recommend your firm to anybody who wants to lose money.

Anyway, the moral of this story is that it’s really not polite to glare at people, particularly when a simple sh*t-eating grin will suffice. After all, they might come back and own your ass like we just owned Chairman Cooper’s.

And yes, we’re hot like wasabi when we bust rhymes. Big like LeAnn Rimes. Cause we’re all about value …

Oh, and it’s not our fault you’ve got an Egg-tooth, so don’t hate the player, hate your bottom rung on the evolutionary ladder.