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FedEx Ground IS Fast September 26, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in Pop Culture, Satire.

lohan fedex


FITSNews – September 26, 2007 – In case you’ve never heard the story, Sic Willie’s 94-year old grandmother is pretty much the baddest ass human being alive. Her last car was a red Ford Mustang convertible, and she still cruises around Myrtle Beach in a black Mustang hard-top even though her kids and grandkids wish she wouldn’t drive anymore. She also gets her six beautiful grandbabies anything they want for their birthdays, which is why when Sic Willie asked for Lindsay Lohan this year, it was no problem for his beloved “Grandmama Beach.”

Lohan arrived in Columbia this afternoon via FedEx (pictured, above) and apparently she and the Sic one are already rekindling their relationship.

Sic also received a pipe bomb courtesy of the S.C. General Assembly, some flowers from State Sen. Greg Ryberg‘s wife and a kiss on the lips from S.C. Ports Authority Chairman Bill Stern, which oddly enough he rather enjoyed.



1. Dave VanHinkel - September 27, 2007

You don’t deserve LaLo Sic!!!!! Does she know all of the Lindsay bashing you did….

Damn… you’re Grandma does kick ass.

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