jump to navigation

Man-Cleavage Olympics Goes Down To The Nipple September 22, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in Sports.

olympic flag


FITSNews – September 22, 2007 – Three conservative South Carolina politicos earned medals this weekend at the S.C. Policy Council‘s annual retreat, a.k.a. the “Man Cleavage Olympics.” Sumter Rep. Murrell Smith was a surprise medalist, capturing the bronze, while former House Majority Leader Rick Quinn returned to medal-winning form by striking silver.

The undisputed “King of Jiggle,” however, was S.C. Policy Council President Ed “McMuffin” McMullen, who easily outdistanced the competition in the critical “proportion” category. Judges agreed, however, that all three victors benefited from the absence of four time man-cleavage gold medalist Rep. Chip Limehouse, who did not compete in this year’s games.

“Nobody gets Jiggy wit it like Limehouse,” said Policy Council V.P. and Olympic judge Ashley Landess. “He’s the Greg Louganis of man-cleavage. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na. Hey!”



1. caligula - September 24, 2007

it appears folks has hit an all time low with this. how low can he go?

2. Ed McMullen - September 24, 2007

Oh, young Will. How right you are! In fact, while competing in the pre-trial all important tennis match, I was running down a drop-shot and my left nipple gave me a black eye and ended my chances for another gold.

So only one conclusion — after seeking solace in two crabcakes and three lemon bars, I decided it was time to get back out on the track. A poor man’s boob reduction, if you will. I am gearing up right now for the Charleston Bridge Run. That’s a 10K, young Will. Translates to 6.2 miles. Without stopping for a smoke break. I’ve run it before, and without a sports bra.

So how about it, Will? Want to run with me? It is in April. But I promise you this….if you don’t put down the cancer sticks, I will outrun you, even though you are 12 years younger and have less hair to weigh you down.

Step out and start training, kid. Accept the challenge. I’ll be at the finish line waiting for you. And I’ll even buy you lunch afterwards….

3. Grasping - September 24, 2007


4. FITSNews - September 24, 2007


We’ll check w/ Sic but chances are he’s in. Turns out our bad boy lettered in Cross Country in H.S. and still runs the 10K at seven minutes a mile.

He also has some Speedos he’s been itching to try out …


5. Mr. Business - September 25, 2007

No way Will can run a 7 minute mile…high school (15 years ago) doesn’t count.

6. true conservative - September 26, 2007

All man-cleavage kidding aside, who you callin’ conservative? These guys? I don’t think so!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: