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Mr. Potato Head Versus The “Trophy Wife” September 14, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in 2008 Presidential Primaries.

jeri thompson


FITSNews – September 14, 2007 – The great thing about South Carolina’s resident Slow Zebra (and Spartanburg GOP Chairman) Rick Beltram is that every time he opens his mouth, something borderline retarded comes out. Of course that takes a lot of the satisfaction out of making fun of him, which when you get right down to it is a lot like shooting spitballs at a dyslexic baboon’s rear end.

Nevertheless, we make fun of him anyway because we’re firm believers in Social Darwinism, and Beltram (who has difficulty with both numbers and letters) represents a perfect case study when it comes to thinning the intellectual herd. Plus, he always responds with some semi-intelligible rant that makes for additional giggles (and grammar lessons).

Anyway, Beltram recently revealed to what we can only assume was a gathering of fellow mouth-breathers that his self-propelled speculation concerning a possible State Senate run is really all about positioning himself to become the next Chairman of the SCGOP. We didn’t know monkeys could think in such abstract terms, either, but there it is.

Beltram also took the opportunity to call former Sen. Fred Thompson‘s current spouse Jeri a “trophy wife” … three times.

Come now, what’s up with that, Potato Head? Is it part of your clever plan to lure more women into the GOP?

Sure, Beltram’s thrice-offered blunder is not as bad as MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough insinuating recently that Mrs. Thompson was a former stripper, but at least that was creative … and at least Scarborough’s knuckles don’t hit the ground when he walks.

Look, people, Jeri Thompson is hot. We’d love nothing more than to school her in a little girl-on-girl and we’re not ashamed to say so. But from everything we’ve heard, there’s also a big brain and some above average political acumen accompanying that breathtaking body. Plus, we’re guessing she’s a Sunday morning coffee and Washington Times-type cuddler, which according to Sic Willie is all a man can ask for in life. Well, that and accurately predicting which of his fantasy baseball players is going to perform well in the coming week.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Oh, Jeri, Sic wants to know if he should go with Dmitri Young or Todd Helton at corner infield this week? And who should he put in for Greg Maddux if Cole Hamels isn’t off the DL yet?)

Beltram’s problem is that they generally don’t allow sweaty ignoramuses to come within a hundred yards of women this hot in real life, and that probably frustrates him a little bit.

Of course, we’re talking about a guy who also gets frustrated counting to ten and writing in complete sentences, so it’s probably not that surprising.



1. Crooner - September 14, 2007

Put Cole in.

2. Marymacsc - September 14, 2007

I will stop giving money to the SCGOP if we elect this idiot as Chairman. I will also resign my position with my county and never go back to another meeting in Cola.

Beltram is the biggest idiot who ever lived. He cannot think he has what it takes to be the Chairman. He couldn’t pull Karen Floyd in with a 1000 vote win in S-burg. If he would have, she would have won.

Oh well, I will pray every night that Beltram never wins the Chairmanship. I think most of us in the know, can keep it from happening.

3. Kaolin Kronicle - September 14, 2007

What else can the SCGOP do to screw up winning? What with TTS, Quinn, and Katon running the show, we’ve begun to give up hard won ground to the Dem’s. Now the GOP consultants are beginning to be shown to be a big a group of crooks as the Dem consultants. What’s next? Rod Shealy awarded Sainthood? As we say at the Kronicle, “Birds of a feather poop together!”

4. Anon - September 15, 2007


What “hard won ground” have we given up to the dems, they already had the sec. ed. spot, but have lost the treasures seat. Our majorities in the house and Senate don’t seem to have dwindled???

BTW, I am not pointing that out to argue those mentioned are not buffons, but I just don’t know which offices you are speaking of.

5. Believe It Not - September 15, 2007

Will. Eat your heart out. You’ll never get a woman like that to pay any attention to you. Figure out what’s important in your life. Political attacks or good looking women.

We realize that presents issues. A Criminal Domestic Violence conviction does cause classy women to stop and say, “Hmmmm.” And, you know what that means!?!? More women for BIN!!!!

You friend,
Classy B.

6. anon - September 15, 2007

Idiot dude: Will’s problem if any thing is alot or women alot like that pay too much attention to him. YOU pay too mcuh attention to him, too. But hey: homo web stalker probably gets you alot of ladies!!!!

7. Doc Smith - September 15, 2007

Hey Will I’m coming home from Iraq for some mid-tour R&R and I’d love to buy you a beer. Keep it up the good work. BTW why no coverage on the loss of 96 Wave down in Charleston?

Doc Smith

PS Believe It Not, Will owns you.

8. Believe It Not - September 16, 2007

“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I porkered, weak and weary…”

Thanks, Edgar Allen…

So says the “Doc Smythe …that “will” owns BIN. Not so. Let us track back: “anon” says: “idiot dude” and “homo web stalker”? “mcuh”?

“anon” needs a new brain and a new keyboerd. “anon” has as much chance of getting a classy woman as does sic(k)will.

Something betwean sl(i)my to none.

“Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”

sic(k) will “owns” nothing. He’ll own “nevermore” after the law suits are settled.

Hey will, dinner on us at “Diane’s on Devine” after you settle.

(Try the prime rib stuffed with shrimp – with a side of fries.)

Will has brought us so many scoops – of “kitty litter.” The midlands elected official with a “str@om problem,” the gover-nators com-pig-u-lator, the AMA solution to porkers compensation, we could go on and on and on. But, will…

But, will. You are so thin and shallow…

9. Doc Smith - September 16, 2007

Point me in the direction of a blog that is run by someone who is witty, free thinking, and not toeing a party line. You can’t, because there are none. Every argument you ever make always revolves around the “Strom Problem” or Sanford’s campaign donor computer. You neglect to mention the stories on BS pork that keeps getting handed out (Green bean museum here I come), the disgrace we call an education system, and the way the SPA is mishandling bringing out ports into the 21st century. I don’t view Will’s blog as gospel but he does point out the MANY flaws within our State that need to be addressed. But I understand how you can miss all that because he probably called you, or your puppet master, out on something really embarrassing. By the way, quoting ol’ “Edgar Allen” makes you look like nothing more than a pompous ass. Honestly, I wish more people in SC read this blog. Then we might get rid of some of these Boss Hog types that can only survive by living off the mother’s tit we call the state government.


PS Sorry, just had to throw my two cents in.

10. rick beltram - September 16, 2007

You do make me laugh…….and you are correct, I am responding!

I did have the very distinct pleasure of sitting next to Mrs. Thompson at the GSP rally. The campaign staff had a reserved seat for me next to her.

Where were you that day? We ALL missed you.

(by the way, my college team, Lafayette College (avg. SAT 1300) is now 3-0 in 1AA FB! WOW.

Rick Beltram

11. FITSNews - September 16, 2007


Great news about your football team! And we’re sure our presence was sorely missed at the “GSL rally” – whatever that is.

More importantly, how much did you have to pay your wife (daughter?) to type a semi-literate e-mail for you? Or did you finally get “Hooked on Phonics?”

Seriously, we’re proud of you! The grammatical progress compared to your previous work is absolutely amazing!


P.S. – Now for counting. Follow after us … “one, two, three, four …”

12. Natasha - September 16, 2007

Good one Doc, you are quite right on that count! SC’s good ol’ boys need to “wake up…”

13. rick beltram - September 17, 2007

Please look at my message…..GSP……not GSL….
(the airport code for this area…..Greenville/Spartanburg)
We have NOW found out what the majority problem is and that is that you cannot absorb what I actually write you!
Too bad! But, we will continue to hone our teaching skills in order help you……albeit,it is difficult.
Your friend,
Rick Beltram

P.S. No, I write my own comments

14. JT - September 17, 2007

Last time I checked, a candidate with a trophy wife served as Governor and US Senator from SC.

15. Dave VanHinkel - September 17, 2007

I’d hit it.

16. Believe It Not - September 17, 2007

So, Doc thinks sic(k) will is witty and free thinking. And Doc thinks will is unique by not toeing a party line. We feel Doc’s warm love for will, but Doc needs to loosen the chin strap on his helmet, stay out of the bright Iraqi sun and drink more cool water.

One of the first signs of heat exhaustion is loss of good judgment and common sense.

Free thinking? Not toeing a party line? What a joke. Will has proven he will attack anyone on any issue – for a price.

Witty? Okay, sometimes, in a foul and boorish way.

His legendary “strom problem” scoop is a classic example of his rumor monger style.

But Doc, you did get one thing right. We are a “pompous ass.” What’s your excuse?

17. FITSNews - September 17, 2007


You are correct, sir. We will say anything for a price. And that price is … drum roll, please … ELEVENTY KABILLION DOLLARS!!!


18. Beltram works to bury anti-Thompson comments » The Palmetto Scoop - September 17, 2007

[…] The Palmetto Scoop on Romney S.C. staffers in hot water over “Phoney Fred” siteSabot on Weekend timeMr. Potato Head Versus The “Trophy Wife” « FITSNews For Now on Scarborough has an “Imus […]

19. Dave VanHinkel - September 17, 2007

Do you think Fred Fred motorboats that shit?

20. cal - September 18, 2007

i want Fred to win just so we3 can see some hig quality t and a in the white house. Man, would we have a first lady easy on the eyes. Love that dress, baby.

21. gamecocks_suck - September 18, 2007

Beltram could never be our chairman. He’s such an idiot.

I agree with you Marymacsc.

22. west_rhino - September 18, 2007

Poor Rick, John Graham Altman isn’t around to act as a lighting rod so for a slow news day we get Beltram’s kneecap protruding slightly from his lips, his foot is so deep in his own mouth.

We have Dems that could refer to Clyburn or Jackson as an uppity “N-word”, in front of the microphones and you’d neer see lest the NAACP wasn’t gaining appropriate leverage.

To his credit, George Patton also stepped in it a few times with the press, via sins of omission as well as commission and Rick is still one hell of a General in the GOP.

Quayle and potatoe anyone?

23. Rick Beltram the trophy mouth » The Palmetto Scoop - September 19, 2007

[…] who recently came under fire for calling presidential candidate Fred Thompson’s wife Jeri a “trophy wife” at least three times during a speech. Beltram, who is known across the state for pulling childish […]

24. Doc Smith - September 19, 2007


My excuse.. PTSD.

25. The trophy mouth strikes again » The Palmetto Scoop - October 5, 2007

[…] We pick on Spartanburg County GOP Chair Rick Beltram a lot because, as we told him in an e-mail reply to his latest charade, everything he does in his “official capacity” is for attention and self-promotion. So we actually thought we were doing him a favor. But apparently not because Beltram has been blasting out e-mails over the past few days attacking South Carolina bloggers for questioning his ridiculous antics. […]

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