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More Maggie Gyllenhaal Confusion September 4, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in Pop Culture.
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NOW TYLER DURDEN IS WEIGHING IN

FITSNews – September 4, 2007 – Last week we broached what is perhaps the most compelling question of the last three minutes – namely, is Maggie Gyllenhaal hot or not? Today, our blog hero Brendon over at What Would Tyler Durden Do? gave us his thoughts. From the story:

For some completely inexplicable reason, Maggie Gyllenhaal – who might honestly be the ugliest person on earth – is the new face of Agent Provocateur lingerie. God she’s hideous. I can honestly feel the bile in the back of my throat right now. It’s so uncomfortable to look at her in the best of circumstances, much less to look at her trying to be sexy. Her eyes are six feet apart and her nose is all piggy and puffy like in cartoons when someone hits their thumb with a hammer. I could make a list of at least 10 dudes I would make out with before Maggie Gyllenhaal, and I’m the most hetero dude on the planet. Seriously. I’m all man baby. Many of the local Indian tribes here even have songs about me and the amazing adventures of my dork.

Yikes. We haven’t shown Sic Willie the new Gyllenhaal Agent Provocateur pics yet, and we probably won’t seeing as the last time he started obsessing over Maggie he ended up staring at his ceiling-mounted flying pig for twelve straight hours. Of course it was our most productive day ever here at the FITSNews home office

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Comments»

1. Believe It Not - September 4, 2007

Will, what about the civil suit? Who are the dudes who are about to clean your clock? What is the complaint? How much damages are they asking?

Defense lawyers are expensive. Do you have good insurance? Do you have any insurance? If you set up a legal defense fund we will be happy to send a contribution – in a specimen bottle. Let us know!

2. Carl Spackler - September 5, 2007

She has eyes?

3. Dave VanHinkel - September 5, 2007

First you guys go after Lindsay Lohan (of which I can never forgive).

Now Mags? For shame FITS, for shame. You cannot deny the Mags G hotness!

4. Dave VanHinkel - September 5, 2007

Hey “Believe It Not”,

Which is it, 2 taps for head and 4 taps for golden showers? Or is it the other way around? Figured you would know.

XOXO

5. FITSNews - September 5, 2007

DVH-

Oh no we are 100% with you on Maggie’s hotness … and so is Sic Willie. Apparently Brendon over at WWTDD is not so keen on her though …

Oh well, his loss!

-FITSNews

6. Crooner - September 6, 2007

She believes that she’s hot, so she is. Why don’t more women get that?

7. castor Troy - September 6, 2007

So Turgid Durlin doesn’t think Maggie is hot. He’s a damn fool. The problem is she is different. She harkens back to the starlets of the ’40s.
What Should Tyler Do? Get some taste.


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