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U.S. Senator Pleads Guilty To Disorderly Restroom Conduct August 28, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in US Politics.

larry craig


FITSNews – August 28, 2007 – Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, one of the biggest “family values” Republicans in all of Washington, D.C., is reported to have pled guilty earlier this month to disorderly conduct charges stemming from a June arrest in a men’s restroom at a Minnesota airport. Craig, who is up for reelection next year, was serving as national co-chairman of Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign until news of his arrest broke yesterday:

According to the police report, Craig entered a bathroom stall next to the police investigator, placed his bag against the front of the door and tapped his foot in a gesture commonly used to try to pick up men in public toilets … “I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct,” the investigator said.

Umm … forgive us for having completely non-existent “gay-dar,” but since when did tapping one’s foot in the bathroom become a universal homosexual mating call? Seriously, what if somebody was just grooving to their iPod, or was deaf and in need of some toilet paper?

Also, we’re pretty sure Arnold Schwarzenegger was tapping his foot in that bathroom scene from True Lies, you know, right before he beats the ever-living crap out of two Muslim terrorists who were sent to kill him after his not-so-clever art dealer ruse was unmasked. And Arnold is definitely not gay – or else the whole “art dealer ruse” probably would’ve worked and those Muslims wouldn’t have followed him into the men’s room.

Anyway, Sen. Craig claims his foot-tapping was “misconstrued,” and given the circumstances we were actually inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Of course, that was before we took a look at the necktie he’s wearing in the picture above.

If we were prosecuting this case, we’d have simply walked up to the witness stand wearing that tie and said “Senator, is this yours?” Of course, he would have gasped and started crying, at which point we’d have ripped it off, thrown it at him and said “Your honor, the state rests.”

That’s right, b*tches. Perry Mason ain’t got sh*t on us.



1. Don Johnson - August 28, 2007

Read FITSNews. Learn how to keep from being picked up by strange men in airport bathrooms. Thanks for looking out for the little people.

2. maria mammaculos - August 28, 2007

Sorry to burst your bubble dahling, but tapping your foot in a stall is time honored signal that you want sex. Anybody knows that one. If you need toilet paper, you ask. Read TEAROOM TRADE which reports that the majority of sex in toilets is by married men with children. As I predicted a year ago to some friends, I said the republicans would start being caught in sex scandals and it has come true. Is it karma for attempting to destroy Clinton or what? Anyway, it’s time these hypocritical lying douchebags were exposed for what they were. It’s disgusting these so called men legislate against gays and are in the closet themselves. These republicans belong in the toilet and should be flushed away. It’s time for America to wake up!

3. Carson Cressley - August 28, 2007

and these republicans are such ugly gays, not like that handsome barney frank from massachusetts. But, I will give them that cutie pie Ted Haggard?

4. Dave VanHinkel - August 28, 2007

Remind me I need to take a power dump in between flights to keep my feet still.

Damn… so let me get this straight, are airport bathrooms the new public rest stops?

5. Billy Chappel - August 28, 2007

he also stuck his hand under the stall and then peered over the top as well. He wasn’t misunderstood!

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