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A Cole Day In Hell August 22, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in Sports.
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cole hamels fits

FARTKNOCKERS’ STAR HURLER LANDS ON DISABLED LIST

FITSNews – August 22, 2007 – In what could be a stunning blow to Sic Willie‘s fantasy baseball playoff aspirations, FITS Fartknockers’ ace starting pitcher Cole Hamels was placed on the 15-day disabled list today, retroactive to August 17. That means Hamels – who is suffering from an elbow strain in his pitching arm – will miss a big chunk of the first two-week playoff series between the Fartknockers and Great Santini League rival Notorious, scheduled to kick off next week.

“The good news is that Cole’s gotten a positive report from the team doctor and there doesn’t appear to be any ligament damage,” Sic Willie told reporters at a late afternoon press conference. “We’re monitoring the situation but he’s obviously going to miss some starts in the playoffs and won’t be a hundred percent when he comes back.”

We’ve never liked it when men cry, so we won’t describe what happened next except to say that it involved Sic Willie crying.

Team spokeswoman Dana Perino ended up having to conclude the press conference, announcing that Hamels had been replaced in the starting lineup by Ryan Dempster (click him, it’s funny).

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