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Breaking – Sic Willie Killed In Oklahoma Motorboating Accident August 8, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in Good Stuff, Satire.

oklahoma girl


FITSNews – August 8, 2007 – FITSNews’ founding editor Sic Willie was killed this afternoon in a tragic motorboating accident in the State of Oklahoma. Details are sketchy, but it appears that he was sucked into some kind of cavernous vacuum that proceeded to deprive him of his oxygen supply.

“Will was a motor-boatin’ son of a b*tch,” said S.C. Gov Mark Sanford, who also stated that he and his former press secretary had mended fences prior to the Sic One’s untimely demise. “I think that’s how he would have wanted the world to remember him.”

Unbeknownst to many South Carolina politicos, Sic Willie traveled to Oklahoma earlier this week at the governor’s behest to study the elasticity of Laffer-based tax cuts passed by Democratic legislative majorities. Unfortunately, South Carolina’s own Democratically-controlled legislative majority (editor’s note: not a typo) has provided no pro-business tax cuts to study, choosing to spend its bountiful surpluses on massive expansions of an 1895 government structure instead.

UPDATE – If you’ve never seen the movie Wedding Crashers, this post probably won’t make much sense to you. Watch it tonight! It’s hilarious. And yes, the Sic One is very much alive and well and playing video hockey on his X-Box at the moment.



1. Single Malt - August 8, 2007

You had us going for a minute. We thought you were dead! We even sent a staff member out for a bottle of the-very-best single malt Scotch to pour over your tombstone in your honor at the graveside service.

Of course, we were planning to filter it through our kidneys first.

Then we got to the part about you and Mark making nice again, and we realized it was all a big joke. Har-dre-har-har!. That’ll never happen!!

2. Shamus O'Toole - August 10, 2007

Will, you ole’ sailor you!

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