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Why Do Celebrities Drive? August 7, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in Good Stuff.

britney driving


FITSNews – August 7, 2007 – With the rash of vehicular troubles plaguing Lindsay, Britney, Nicole and Paris lately, you’d think these rich popsluts would wise up and realize it’s probably time to hire somebody to drive them around. Seriously, they’re all worth like eleventy kabillion dollars, why the hell are they still causing mayhem behind the wheel?

If we had that kind of money, we’d hire a chauffer and name him “Bottoms.” Obviously that wouldn’t be his real name, but that’s what we’d force him to go by. We’d also make him wear nothing but this and some white go-go boots whenever he drove us around town.

The fun would literally never stop. “Hey Bottoms, time for a Taco Bell run?” “Hey Bottoms, did you write down the mileage when you filled the tank up?” “Hey Bottoms, does this pantsuit make us look fat?” And of course Bottoms would always have to take us to Taco Bell, write down the mileage correctly and tell us we looked like Angelina Jolie no matter what we were wearing.



1. Give Me FITS - August 7, 2007

Doesn’t Rep. Michael Thompson have a manservant or a valet or something like that? Not sure if his name is Bottoms…but I think he has one (an attendant, not a bottom…well, I am pretty sure he’s got a bottom, too, but you know what I mean.)

2. Bunch of intellectual midgets in Hollywood - August 7, 2007

In Hollywood drivers licenses are viewed as college diplomas. Remember, every community has its’ standards.

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