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Slumping Fartknockers Pull Off Blockbuster Trade July 16, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in Sports.
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teixeira

ACCUSATIONS OF “COLLUSION” STING COMMISSIONER SIC WILLIE

FITSNews – July 16, 2007 – FITS’ founding editor and Great Santini League Commissioner Sic Willie is under fire this morning after engineering a blockbuster trade between his famed Fartknockers fantasy baseball franchise and the last place team in the league. The trade, in which the Fartknockers received 2B B.J. Upton, 1B Mark Teixeira (pictured), P Justin Verlander and P Cole Hamels in exchange for DH David Ortiz, 2B Ray Durham, P Curt Schilling and P Brad Penny, drew the immediate rebuke of several Santini League owners, who accused Sic Willie of collusion.

“Collusion is a big word,” Sic Willie told the throng of reporters who gathered Monday morning outside his Columbia, S.C. residence. “Well, not so much a big word as a bad word. I can’t think about that right now, though. Right now all I’m thinking about is how to spell ‘Teixeira,’ since his name violates the ‘i’ before ‘e’ except after ‘c’ rule … twice. I’m also focused on … hey! Is that a fudgeround? You gonna eat that?”

Since becoming Commissioner earlier in the season, Sic Willie’s Fartknockers have fallen from first place to third place in the league standings, falling behind the hated “Croon Crew” and most recently, the Barry Bonds-powered “Notorious” squad.

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Comments»

1. ABC (anybody but Colts) - July 16, 2007

that was highway robbery on your part. Collusion seems to be the apt word here.

2. FITSNews - July 16, 2007

ABC,

Not to mix sports, but you’re probably just pissed off that the Colts re-signed Dwight Freeney to a 6-year deal.

Help us out, exactly who got robbed in this trade? Penny is 10-1 with a friggin 2.39 ERA, and Big Papi is, well, Big Papi. He’s hit two homers this week and has regained the stroke that saw him blast 57 a year ago. Those two for Teixeira and Hamels is more than fair, as is Schilling for Verlander.

Now, if you want to ding us on Durham for Upton, fine – we’ll take that hit.

-FITSNews

3. Crooner - July 16, 2007

Why would anyone hate the Crew?

4. ABC (anybody but Colts) - July 16, 2007

Colts way overpaid for Freeney but more on that later. Texiera and Upton is much much better than Ortiz (and I am a Sox fan) and Durham….Penny is a great pitcher but not to the level of what you are getting with Hamels and Verlander when considering that Schilling may not pitch again (again a Sox fan)

Just admit that the Commissioner took advantage of the last place team and bought Manhattan from the indians for $24 in trinkets.


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