jump to navigation

Photographing Fireworks Is Hard July 5, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in Good Stuff.



FITSNews – July 5, 2007 – We don’t have one of those fancy-schmancy digital cameras that takes like 900 million pictures per second and then automatically splices the frames for optimal image quality. Heck, our camera doesn’t even remove “red eye,” and we have absolutley no idea what “automatically splices the frames” even means, if it means anything at all. The only thing we know about cameras is that Maria Sharapova is good at selling them, and we were going to buy one from her but it would have put too big a dent in Sic Willie‘s monthly burrito budget.

Anyway, the FITS’ girls and friends headed over to a neighborhood softball field last night to celebrate our nation’s birthday in style with a gigantic assortment of fireworks, including the amazing 36-shot “Bling Bling” flaming bouquet arrangement (pictured above).

A grand ole’ time was had by all … well, except for one scary moment when House Majority Leader Jimmy Merrill’s cousin decided to exact a little revenge on Sic Willie for a recent FITSNews’ article critical of her cousin’s campaign management skills. While bending over to light the fuse on the evening’s grand fireworks’ finale, a bottle rocket was “accidentally” detonated in the immediate vicinity of Sic Willie’s hindquarters. Needless to say, he won’t be sitting down without an inflatable donut for quite some time. In another strange coincidence, earlier during the day’s festivities a croquet mallet held by Merrill’s cousin “accidentally” slipped out of her hands during play and struck Sic Willie in a very sensitive area, forcing him to withdraw from the game and potentially jeopardizing his ability to procreate.



1. Lil' Merrill - July 5, 2007

Dearest Will-

I feel no remorse for my actions, in fact I’d venture to say that most readers of this blog have wanted to smack you with a mallet at one point in time. If what I did was wrong (questioning the validity of your statements and taking appropriate actions), then please address your concerns with me and do not seek sympathy from the general public. I think that you learned a valuable lesson yesterday -do not talk badly about my cousin, because next time I might trade in the mallet for a bat.

2. FITSNews - July 5, 2007

Yikes! Guess that explains Sic Willie’s reimbursement request for a plastic cup.

3. Squire - July 5, 2007

I hear Denver watched all the Tae Bo tapes and the first two seasons of Walker Texas Ranger after he read sic willie’s post…and that bodes ill for someone. Tae Bo+Denver= a maelstrom of destruction

4. Knt Hrbk - July 5, 2007

Tae Bo+Denver= a maelstrom

That is way too many consecutive vowels

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: