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John Edwards Sucks But … June 28, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in 2008 Presidential Primaries.

ann coulter


FITSNews – June 28, 2007 – It’s hard to say anything that would make us feel sorry for John Edwards, but conservative commentator Ann Coulter is making a strong bid. After saying she wished Edwards would die in a terrorist attack on Tuesday, it seems Mr. $400 Haircut is turning her vitriol into beaucoup campaign dollars.

We’ve never understood the fuss over Coulter. To be perfectly honest, she looks a lot like the end result of an anorexic male giraffe humping a heron bird. We’ve never read a word she’s written, never watched a second of her TV appearances and if she ever agreed to sit for a FITSNews‘ interview we’d probably just sit there and ask her over and over again in giraffeese what it’s like to graze on the Serengeti. Oh, you say you’re in politics Ms. Coulter? And you’ve written some books? That’s great. Moving on, do you ever get nervous that lions or cheetahs are going to attack you when you’re nibbling on acacia leaves?

In all fairness, Coulter does do a great job masquerading as soft core pornography for a bunch of Republican virgins who never opened a Playboy. She also seems to be quite adept at avoiding the sun. Come to think of it, if she could keep her hands frozen exactly like they are in the picture above, we might even be able to turn her upside down and get some yardwork done. Hey, we don’t have to wish terrorist death on Ann Coulter after all!



1. Hmmm - June 28, 2007

Bill Folks,
Coulter’s “terrorist attack” comment was in response to commentator Bill Maher, who said that he wished Dick Cheney would die in a terrorist attack. Maher’s hateful comments (said in earnest) barely grabbed people’s attention.

It’s interesting how liberals can make blatantly offensive statements and be praised for exercising free speech, but conservative pundits like Coulter can jokingly make the same statements and be condemned by blogging armchair quarterbacks like you.

2. sic haters - June 28, 2007

I tought I saw sic willie and coulter together at a west virginia white pride bbq. did they break up?

3. Dave VanHinkel - June 28, 2007

“she looks a lot like the end result of an anorexic male giraffe humping a heron bird.”

That is some funny shit. Post of hte year!

4. Mike's America - July 1, 2007

So Coulter does walk a bit close to the edge sometime. She’s still a brilliant writer and points out the hypocrisy and absurdity of Democrats so well, often by being absurd herself, that I’m willing to forgive her.

And if anyone wants to say “gee Republicans like Coulter are just as bad as the Democrat’s guys” I’ll point out that unlike senior elected Democrats who embrace their nutroots publicly, senior elected GOPofficials aren’t likely to be photographed with Ann at GOP clambakes.

5. Mark Pfeifer - October 31, 2007

Hm. Stumbled across this page just now while doing some research.

Boy the internet sure is a great thing.

I mean how cool is it that someone who has written half a dozen bestsellers, appeared on TV hundreds of times, and makes $20k a speech, can be shit on by someone who has to “publish” their “ideas” on their own obscure blog during their ample free time.

Thanks Al and Bill, sure glad you invented this.

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