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FITS Fartknockers In First April 29, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in Sports.

bad news bears


FITSNews – April 29, 2007 – One month into the 2007 fantasy baseball season, Sic Willie’s FITS Fartknockers are putting a hurting on the competition, cruising to the league lead in four of eight statistical categories and opening up a 10-point cushion in the standings. Paced by stars like Jimmy Rollins and David “Big Papi” Ortiz, the Fartknockers are hitting a league-leading .302 with 41 home runs and 182 RBI’s. The FITS’ pitching staff also boasts a league-leading 2.23 ERA.

“I know Rudy Giuliani likes the Yankees, John McCain likes the Diamondbacks and Mitt Romney likes whichever team he thinks will get him the most votes, but these suckas better recognize,” Sic Willie told listeners during ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball telecast. “The fact is my Fartknockers are knocking on the door of fantasy baseball immortality.”

Come to think of it, this makes perfect sense. After all, with an imaginary political consulting firm and a roster full of imaginary clients, why wouldn’t Sic Willie excel at fantasy baseball?

UPDATE – Sic Willie’s interview was apparently with Teddy Garland of WRDU in Durham, the “Voice of the Bulls,” not ESPN.



1. Rotoman - April 30, 2007

Cal must be pissed. I heard he doesn’t take losing well. Plus, he is much bigger than you.

I suggest a new plan: let the Wookie win.

PS: I have Carlos (“The Bum”) Delgado and Alfonso (“Whiff”) Soriano — and their combined 1 HR, 13 RBI, and .240BA — available for trade. I will accept no less than a bag of used baseballs and a kiss on the cheek from Jason Zacher.

2. Oh Dear Lord No « FITSNews For Now - May 17, 2007

[…] man tears all afternoon. That’s because Dempster, a reliever on the Sic One’s FITS Fartknockers fantasy baseball squad, got lit up like the crack man’s pager at Shea Stadium this afternoon. […]

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