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Sic Willie’s Presidential Campaign Raises $11.5 April 4, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in 2008 Presidential Primaries, Satire.
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Sic Willie and Bandito

EXPERTS AMAZED HE CLEARED TEN DOLLAR THRESHOLD

FITSNews – April 4, 2007 – Sending a clear message that his presidential campaign had better be taken seriously, Sic Willie today reported itemized receipts of $11.5 dollars to the Federal Election Commission. Actually it was more like $11.58. And he may or may not have stolen $10 from reporter Lee Bandy‘s wallet during the latter’s recent retirement party.

“Frankly, it’s pretty amazing he was able to get that much – by hook, crook or any other means,” said USC political scientist Blease Graham. “Nevertheless, Sic Willie has announced his presence with authority.”

Yet tempering the enthusiasm surrounding Sic Willie’s blistering fundraising pace was the news that he has already blown $10.3 dollars of his war chest on lunch at Groucho’s Deli in downtown Five Points, leaving him with just $1.2 dollars cash on hand. Of course Groucho’s does have crazy awesome V.R.

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Comments»

1. skinny - April 4, 2007

i take it the VR at Groucho’s was an in-kind contribution

and what a kind contribution it was…

2. Earl - April 4, 2007

Frankly, I’m a little concerned about the possibility that you are selling out to special interests. This is what happens when we enact campaign finance “reform” – it just leads to more crookery.


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