jump to navigation

We Get Letters, Lots Of Letters March 1, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in SC Politics.
trackback

Mail

WE APPARENTLY ALSO PISS OFF ORGANIZATIONS WE NEVER KNEW EXISTED

FITSNews – March 1, 2007 – We get lots and lots of letters here at FITSNews. Most of them are requests for Sic Willie to pose nude, in which case you’re going to need a long lens, but many of them are responses to the articles we post here on the blog. In fact we get so many letters, we’re going to have an entire section of our new website devoted to them when we launch next month.

Anyway, we wrote a story last week about South Carolina’s Bush League Governor’s Office in response to Mark Sanford’s scapegoating of his former insurance director. Little did we know there actually is a “Bush League” in South Carolina, and they didn’t appreciate what we had to say:

Dear Mr. Folks:

I am writing to you on behalf of the South Carolina Chapter of the Bush League. It has come to our attention that your website, Fitsnews.com, contains an item that refers to Governor Mark Sanford’s staff as “bush league.” Normally, we are very pleased to see our organization’s name in lights as it were, but after reviewing other pieces on your site, we must object to your reference to our group. Specifically, we gather from your work that you are not enamored with the Governor these days and that you have very little personal or professional regard for some members of his staff. Apparently, you do not believe they are competent, that they are somehow in way over their heads and completely incapable of flushing turds down State House toilets much less accomplishing anything remotely resembling an agenda. As a result, we interpret your reference to our organization as negative.

Mr. Folks, perhaps your insensitivity derives from your complete ignorance of our group and its members. Sure, you may never have spent any time in the Bush League, but many have. Dozens of South Carolina luminaries are members in good standing, complete with Bush League fezes and medallions which they wear on our weekly lodge nights. These men and many others like them have earned their places in the Bush League, and we look upon them with reverence and awe. Your obvious disdain for their accomplishments shows a complete lack of respect. It’s mean; it’s hurtful; and it’s wrong.

We at the Bush League are proud that we stand for something in a world where most simply roll over at the first hint of opposition. Who but us is willing to exalt mediocrity? What other organization believes we should glorify the turds among us, hi-lighting their meager accomplishments and reveling in their ridiculous plays for attention and relevance? You see, Mr. Folks, if it were not for the Bush League, our village idiots would be adrift in this world without anyone to appreciate their work.

So, we are proud of our work, and we stand ready to confront the ignorance that fosters the stereotype that you referenced in your insipid little piece. Unfortunately, your audience now sees us in a negative light, and there is virtually nothing we can do about it. Sure, we are contacting Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton now for public appearances at a rally outside your office (if we can find it), and we are quite certain that both Senator McCain and Senator Obama will take you to task the next time they are in the State. But we’ve checked up on Will Folks, and we’ve learned that if it doesn’t come from some chick named Rachel, he’s not going to listen. Fine. Just don’t blame us when no one from the Bush League reads your damn website.

Finally, to add insult to injury Mr. Folks, you need to do a better job of doing your homework. If you had put your issue of People magazine aside long enough to check, you would know that the Bush League has standards. We are very careful about who we let join. I have checked our records and have learned that several Sanford staffers once applied for membership. They were all unanimously rejected by our board as unqualified. Sure, meeting minimum standards for the Bush League may not be hard, but you wouldn’t know it by asking the passengers on that ship of fools.

In conclusion, we would ask you for a public apology, but 6 readers of a website does not constitute a “public.” Have a nice day, you insensitive jerk.

Sincerely,

The Bush League

Advertisements

Comments»

1. ken - March 1, 2007

Sic Willie,

Are you surprised that Joel Sawyer was as creative as he must have been to think of, and write this missive??
Bush League.

2. anon. - March 1, 2007

Uh..Wilbur wrote it, dude.

3. fitsnews - March 1, 2007

Snap back the rap trap and stack, Jizza.

Swing ’em all cauze we on the A-ttack.

We can’t hide our writing style here f’shizzle. We try to sound like Laurin Manning and it’s still Sic Willie style. Jizzoel?

Hell …


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: