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Snaggletooth Loves Egg-Tooth March 1, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in Pop Culture, Satire, SC Politics.
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snaggletooth

KIRSTEN DUNST-DAN COOPER RUMORS SPREADING LIKE WILDFIRE AT SOUTH CAROLINA STATE HOUSE

FITSNews – March 1, 2007 – Kirsten Dunst is the Snaggletooth. Dan Cooper is the Egg-tooth.

Seriously, like Peaches and Herb, it was only a matter of time before these two got together, although kissing is probably difficult and mutually hazardous, with the two star-crossed lovers probably resembling Ali and Foreman after the “Rumble in the Jungle” at the end of each make-out session.

Now if we can just get the Anderson County idiot who wrote into the old FITS all the time telling us what a “devoted husband and father” Dan Cooper is and how mean we were to make fun of him “for something he can’t help,” our day will truly be complete. Oh, and should you happen to see the tooth bared (as in the thumbnail below), RUN! That means it is “hangry” (hungry and angry) and you should throw a Snickers bar at it:

egg-tooth

UPDATE – Not surprisingly, some geniuses from the Rainbow Academy Of Very, Very Special People S.C. General Assembly thought we were actually insinuating that Chairman Cooper was having an affair with Kirsten Dunst. In case the “Satire” tag didn’t give it away, we’re not suggesting any such thing. And in what may be a first, we can honestly say that it’s at least partially because he wouldn’t go there.

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Comments»

1. Bernard L Jones Sr. - March 3, 2007

Do they still bother to Kiss?


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