jump to navigation

George Clooney: I Never Dated Pam Anderson January 28, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in Pop Culture.
trackback

Pam Anderson

DENIAL CAME JUST A LITTLE TOO FAST FOR THOSE OF US GALS HOPING CLOONEY IS HETEROSEXUAL

FITSNews – January 28, 2007 – If you believe US Magazine (and we believe every word, people), George Clooney just set a new land speed record for denying a relationship.

Seriously, we haven’t seen a relationship denial this quick since Sic Willie’s reps tried to float the rumor that he and Reese Witherspoon were spotted together at Sermet’s on King Street in Charleston last week. Wait a minute … is it still a rumor if it’s true?

George, we know you didn’t go there, sugar britches. Guys like you don’t follow Kid Rock, we get that. But next time, take at least a day before you deny it and be sure to line up some timely counter-rumor of your own.

It’s our patented two-step process for anytime people start trying to mooch off our fame. Here, let us help you out.

Step one. Find a timely celebrity gossip rumor, like the one about Katie Holmes wearing body-slimming underwear that was on The Superficial the other day.

Step two. Put 2+2 together. Which in this case involves flying to Paris (where Katie Holmes is right now) and tipping off the paparrazzi that you will be going to a trendy lingerie store and buying some body-slimming underwear that just happens to be in Katie Holmes’ exact size (well, the size Tom Cruise wants her to be anyway).

That way it’s like “Yeah, I was gonna deny this yesterday but I was busy being spotted buying body-slimming underwear in Katie Holmes’ exact size in Paris.”

And VOILA!

Pam goes back to being the “Silicone That Time Forgot” and you are once again “The Man” … plus Tom Cruise gets all pissed off.

Now if we can just come up with an excuse for why a trendy lingerie store in Paris is carrying body-slimming underwear we’re good to go.

Advertisements

Comments»

1. Pam Anderson's Chest Approved As Floatation Device « FITSNews For Now - April 19, 2007

[…] that red rubber thing around while playing C.J. the lifeguard on “Baywatch,” but now Pamela Anderson’s own chest has been approved as a floatation […]


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: