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Reese Witherspoon, Kids Move to South Carolina December 24, 2006

Posted by fitsnews in Pop Culture.

Reese Bangs


FITSNews – December 24, 2006 – Holy hell.

She’s here.

She’s actually here.

Seriously, this is a little scary even for us.

One minute we’re watching Just Like Heaven thinking how cool it would be if Reese Witherspoon magically appeared in our midst and the next minute – BAM! – we find out Reese Witherspoon has decided to move with her kids to South Carolina.


Not hardly, friends. Not hardly.

This is a little something we like to call “destiny.” Well … destiny fueled by the irrepressible, tractor-beam aura of Sic Willie, at least. After all, no one can resist Aqua Velva and Old Spice products.

In fact, let’s be honest about this, shall we? Reese has probably been tracking Sic Willie down much like the Libyans tracked down Doc Emmitt Brown after he stole plutonium from them to invent DeLorean-based time travel in the movie Back to the Future.

Of course, there is one thing that makes us a little suspicious of New York Post gossip columnist Liz Smith’s report – it says Reese is enrolling her children in public schools.

Let’s hope for her kids’ sake that part of the Post report is incorrect.

Anyway, thanks to our good friend Classic Antebellum Beauty up in Richmond for the tip …



1. Bob (the) White (guy) - December 24, 2006

Will…this is the break you have been waiting for all of your life! Call her and offer to take her to a Carolina ‘arm wraseling’ competition. Any woman who has been to Hollywood near Fairfax Avenue will jump on you in a heartbeat!
Good luck my friend!
Bob – the white guy

2. AlexS - December 25, 2006

Any chance we could get her to be the ambassador of South Carolina. She is divorced, and heartbroken, and sounds like she wants to do some good. Get her involved in the Governor’s office, and get South Carolina’s newest citizen to get involved in her state!

3. Emily - December 27, 2006

As I just said, I can’t keep giving you these free lessons. As I said there is no way that she enrolled her kids in public schools. Though if she did I would venture to be she is not residing downtown.

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